Hello to all the beautiful ladies out there and congrats on stumbling upon this blog! May it be step one in cultivating whole and complete femininity and becoming the woman your soul knows you can be.
I have dedicated nearly a decade to transforming my regular femininity into a spiritual femininity through authentic tantric knowledge and I offer regular retreats guiding other women how to do the same.
I get asked a lot of questions from women just like you on what exactly is the tantric view on femininity and womanhood. This article is a compilation of the most frequently asked questions and my answers. I hope it is eye-opening and inspiring for you.
Once upon a time I was disconnected from my true femininity and unsure of my identity as a woman.
My feminine nature got confined to a small and rigid box and I didn’t realize all the different ways this inner Goddess of mine could manifest herself.
Nor did I realize that femininity is intricately interwoven into every aspect of my life. There is no escaping it. By lacking an understanding about true femininity and failing to recognize the many facets and faces of the feminine energy, my life, my relationships, my sexuality and my mental and emotional health suffered.
I found myself feeling unfulfilled in life generally, experiencing a breakdown in my intimate relationships, stagnant in my sexuality and stuck in one-sided femininity, unable to ebb and flow through the full feminine spectrum.
Can you relate to any of these manifestations of blocked or underdeveloped femininity? I think most women can.
The good news is all of that changed when a divine synchronicity in my life brought me to Tantra and I was introduced to the tantric teachings specifically for women.
From that moment onwards, I underwent a magical feminine, female blossoming and I want the same for you!
“My feminine nature got confined to a small and rigid box and I didn’t realize all the different ways this inner Goddess of mine could manifest herself.”
Based on my own personal experience, from observation and also from speaking to women from all over the world, one main challenge women are facing today is high stress and demands.
High stress and high demands on our time and energy as women causes an overall lockdown of our feminine nature as well as our soul. We tend to outpour our energy into others leaving very little to nurture and feed ourselves. This suppresses the feminine energy in a big way and leaves us feeling drained, unhappy and unfulfilled.
Another common challenge women face is dissatisfaction when it comes to love and feeling a lack of love in their life and in their intimate relationship. The biggest contributor to this, in my opinion, is the modern obsession with electronic devices and an addiction to social media.
How many times have you walked through a restaurant and noticed couples sitting at a table glued to their phones and completely ignoring their partner?
I see this a lot and feel it is one of the main culprits for the degradation of marriage, a lack of closeness and intimacy and a disconnect from reality which ultimately leads to a disconnect from our soul.
And lastly, many of the challenges women face today can be attributed to lifestyle. Our lifestyles – the food we consume, the people we socialize with, the television programs we watch, the music we listen to, the alcohol and drugs we numb ourselves with – are rarely conducive to health.
We are not being nourished from the inside out and as a result our physical, mental, emotional, sexual and spiritual aspects are negatively impacted.
Of course, there are many more challenges women face today, but these are the ones of prime importance, having the biggest impact on femininity and the feminine nature that I see most often.
Since femininity is interconnected to all aspects of a woman’s life, having grounded, complete and whole femininity is key to feeling balanced, loved, fulfilled, nourished, happy and content.
I would start by saying that femininity, from the tantric perspective and my perspective as well, consists of two polar aspects.
On one hand, femininity is made up of concepts related to receptivity such as softness, intuition, integration and erotic power.
On the other hand, femininity most definitely also includes concepts more related to emissivity which are oftentimes neglected, not associated with femininity at all and/or are thought of in relation to men only. Strength, courage, verticality, stability, concentration, and self-sufficiency are a few of these characteristics that fall into this category.
Complete femininity is defined by having a perfect balance and harmony between both of these polar aspects and being able to vacillate gracefully between them according to what the situation calls for, and at will and on command.
These days I find women to be dominant in only one of these sides of femininity and what is missing is the middle path. By fully integrating and combining both the receptive side of being a woman and the emissive side, you end up with a holistic, beautiful, harmonious and empowered woman who is wholly in charge of her thoughts, feelings, emotions and actions. She is the master of her life and destiny!
This is something that I really struggled with in my femininity for most of my life, pre-Tantra. I was tending more towards the emissive side of femininity and didn’t value so much the more intuitive, fluidic and softer side. I was like a bird with only one fully developed wing while the other wing was only at 25% capacity.
To soar gracefully through life and to be a whole and complete woman, I needed to nurture the aspect of my femininity that was lacking. Once I did so much in my life changed and I really felt an incredible feminine blossoming and maturing that I didn’t know was even possible.
The first thing that pops into my head is actually related to my mind and the state of my mind.
The tantric knowledge really helped me to develop my mind a lot and curtail its undisciplined and chaotic nature. I became much more focused and concentrated as a result.
While at first glance this may seem negligible or perhaps totally unrelated to femininity, I assure you it is not.
You see, before my tantric training I was often acted without awareness or consciousness (most of us do!). Decisions I made came from impulsiveness or were based on emotions. I kind of functioned in day-to-day life on autopilot and never really took the time to witness the nature of my mind, the quality of my thoughts, the driver behind my actions, and so on. How I expressed my femininity was also on autopilot and often manifested according to impulse or past conditioning.
Tantra taught me how powerful the mind can truly be. If you control the mind you can control your inner universe, and eventually even, the outer universe.
So, the more I trained my mind the more aware of my actions and reactions I became. I also began to observe how I showed up in the world, both personally and professionally, as a woman and used the tantric knowledge for women to compare the state of my own femininity to that of the complete femininity archetype that Tantra clearly defines.
The strengths and weaknesses of my own feminine nature became clear and my journey to cultivating whole and complete femininity really began here.
The different aspects and faces of my feminine nature also became more refined and defined. It was like I had an amazing new collection of beautiful and unique hats in my toolbox that I could choose from. Each hat represented a different dimension of my femininity and a different “persona” from which I could interact with the world as a woman.
My actions and interactions became more conscious and intentional. I was able to choose how to show up in different scenarios and determine which aspect of my femininity was appropriate and needed for every individual situation. No longer was my femininity on autopilot or operating according to old paradigms and patterns.
This mental clarity is incredibly valuable and had a profound trickle over effect into all areas of my life.
“Before Tantra my actions and the way I expressed my femininity was from impulse and previous conditioning. Now my feminine expression springs from awareness and choice!”
There are two very important tantric teachings that I apply to everyday life.
The first one is controlling energy and sublimation. They go hand in hand. This of course is a BIG topic. I could spend a few days describing and teaching sublimation. As for the control of energy, well this is really a lifetime endeavor, but, it is never too late to start to learn how.
Why would you want to learn to control energy? Because you are energy. Your emotions are energy. Your sexuality is energy. Your whole reality is made up of energy. The only way you can become the master of your life and your destiny is to learn to control the very thing that dictates it.
Luckily, Tantra is eminently practical and gives techniques for both energy control and sublimation that are applicable to both beginners and advanced practitioners. So, anyone at any time can get started with this fundamental principle and teaching belonging to Tantra.
Basically, in Tantra, you learn essential exercises and techniques that help you to deal with everyday problems. Many of the problems we face in today’s day and age are due to an excess of energy that has accumulated in our lower energy centers. When there is an excess of energy here, it tends to manifest as out of control emotions, stress, feeling sexually frustrated, sadness or depression, emotional chaos, instability of the mind, outbursts, anger, and so on.
You can use certain techniques to sublimate this stuck, excessive energy in the lower energy centers to higher and more spiritual energy centers. The end result is nothing short of miraculous. When you sublimate your energy you will feel a lot more calm, balanced, stable, clear, decisive and trusting.
Sublimation and the control of your energy is the most empowering self-help trick I have ever come across. It really works and it is something I apply every single day in my life.
The second tantric teaching I apply to my everyday life is Tantric Sexuality. The sexual expression I manifest now is SO different then before I embarked on the tantric path. It is almost like night and day.
I always used to believe (and experience) that there was a threshold to the amount of pleasure I was able to experience. As though there was a ceiling and no pleasure existed beyond that barrier.
Tantric Sexuality, however, opened me up to unlimited amounts of pleasure and my pleasure potential has soared exponentially.
It is not just pleasure for the sake of pleasure either. This is the kind of pleasure that can take you to the Divine. Tantric Sexuality is really extraordinary in that way… it beautifully blends together spirituality and sexuality.
Because of the sexual Tantra teachings I was able to tap into a deep sensual well of zest and juiciness within me which allows me to express my sexuality in a variety of ways. Lovemaking can be deep and slow and profound but it can also be playful and fun too. This diversity is truly priceless.
In addition to the expansion of my pleasure, the level of intimacy I can share and develop with a partner has also magnified a lot because of the Tantric Sexuality teachings.
Women who would most benefit from the tantric teachings are…
Women who want to be vibrant, strong and independent
Tantra is a unique spiritual path because it recognizes and embraces the inherent differences that exist between men and women.
Rather than trying to make men and women the same or equal, it understands that the differences between the genders actually provides great advantages and power.
As a woman, because of your unique structure physically, emotionally, energetically and mentally, you possess attributes and abilities that men do not. And vice versa is true for men as well.
Women should take advantage of the tools that come most easily and natural to them as this is going to be the fastest and best path towards spiritual progress and achievement. Going against the grain of what is natural and inborn will only result in challenges and an uphill battle.
Men possess different tools than women do. These tools come as a result of their gender and unique makeup. By taking advantage of what was gifted to them by nature will ensure a more harmonious and seamless spiritual path. They will be propelled forward more quickly because they are using tools that are instinctive and ingrained.
These differences between men and women are exactly the foundational reason why Tantra has separate secret teachings for men and women. The teachings are specific to each gender’s God-given gifts, strengths, qualities and configurations.
In summary ladies, WE ARE LUCKY TO BE WOMEN! We have so much potential, power, opportunities and possibilities available to us. We just have to be shown the way.
Confused femininity leads to a confused life. The Ultimate Tantric Woman’s course is the remedy.
It is not a feel-good course that leaves your soul in doubt. Nor does it focus on superficial femininity. This course for women goes very deep.
It gives you all the tools you need to discover your true self, realize your inner power and cultivate the most important qualities for transforming into a balanced, harmonious and powerful woman.
Isn’t it time you became a whole and complete woman? I hope so!
“Confused femininity leads to a confused life! Overwhelming emotions, a disconnect from your sexuality and a breakdown of relationships are just some of the signs that your femininity is lacking or fragmented.”
“There is not one way to be a woman or express your femininity, there are MANY!”, Mel shares after completing the Ultimate Tantric Woman’s course and discovering complete spiritual femininity for the first time. Listen to her short testimony below.
Founder and Senior Teacher
An inspiring tantric yogini, Liisa is a strong driving force of the school – both as a senior teacher and general manager.
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